Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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