How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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