Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
