What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
