There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
