Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
