Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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