You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
