is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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