What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
