Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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(613): View more from Ontario

You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

what drugs are you on?

(404): View more from Georgia

none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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(425): View more from Washington

Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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(815): View more from Illinois

I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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(571): View more from Virginia

How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?

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(912): View more from Georgia

I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!

(706): View more from Georgia

You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?

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