they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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