Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
