So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Damn victory sex feels great
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