I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize