He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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