I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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