my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
