If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize