naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize