I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
