someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
