I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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