To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
