So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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