Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
