shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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