Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
