I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
