if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
