i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
