my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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