my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
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