I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
