Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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