My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
