I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
