Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Randomize
