That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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