So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
