so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found the puke drawer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
