even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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