Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
