there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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