1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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