Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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