please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
