I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
