I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
