I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
