You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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