Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
