I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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