I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
