i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
