A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
