doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't deserve a penis
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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