oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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