Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
