You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
operation harelip BJ is a go
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
