Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
