i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I lost the right to judge tonight
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
