If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
