Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
