Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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