So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
