i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
