Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
