I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize