We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
