Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
