I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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