he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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