I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Actions speak louder than pants.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize