you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
