the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
